3 months home....already! (by joel)

Wow, I have literally not had any spare time over the last 2 months!  My business has expanded into another field after my sign installation work dried up.  So, we have added a family, started a new job (12+hours a day, 6 days a week) and have tried to start bible school (just not the right time for it right now).  Being a new dad has put my priorities to a test, I have a huge desire to make this new job work because I have 2 little boys counting on me.  Before, I knew Rachel and I could make it even if it meant beans and rice....seems a bit more pressure filled now!  :)

Rachel is doing amazing with her role as a mother!  The DS clinic doctors and the early intervention lady were all amazed by the vocabulary of Jackson and now of Josiah!  Yep, Josiah is now signing and saying a few words!  Looking back, that absolutely blows my mind.  The little baby that had no muscle tone, little or no expression and no vocalization.....well, He's worming around at break neck speed, he can stand with just a little support at the waist and this kid has attitude and lungs to match!!!!  This all happened over the last couple of weeks, like God just flipped his switch to ON and now he's full speed ahead!  He even says Jackson, penny, dadda, momma, and a few others that come out of left field...He just signed "thank you" to me after I changed his diaper tonight!

Jackson is not only suprising us with his language skills, but his mind is amazing.  Yesterday, we got a little tikes slide given to us and he went to town on it.  The neat part was watching him figure out how to swing his second leg around and not fall down!  He is so adventurous and quite the dare devil!  He loves playing "jet man" where I pick him up at the thigh and raise him to the ceiling, then let him fall like a rock until I "save" him at the last second, flips and twirls and climbing on daddy are on the to-do list every day.

Looking back, it seems odd that we have only been home for a little more than 3 months.  The sleep to coffee ratio is quite different with a family and I was just thinking how much of my life was wasted before the boys....I don't think I ever had productive hours between 4-8am before....  And I can't figure out, for the life of me, how the heck the boys can be in bed at 7:30, asleep by 8, up at 5:30-7 and we can be so sleepy!  The boys are sleeping 10 hours a night, sometimes more!  And how is it they take two naps a day and yet I get none!  :)  Please read this as just amazement, not complaining...because, with all said and done...these boys bring so much life to this house.

So, business is going good and the hours are starting to normalize.  Momma is doing great with everything she is teaching these little men.  IT IS HARD THOUGH!  Every day is different than it was before, for all of us.  We don't see the boys as any different than "normal" boys.  I kind of struggle with this.  To me, they are two little boys.  Others see the DS or notice they are different some how.  They do great when other kids don't treat them as different, Jackson tries hard to do what anyone else is doing and Josiah follows suite by copying Jackson.  Jackson can count to 5 and knows some of the ABC's in the ABC song, has a huge understanding of the English language and is speaking fairly well and signing quite well....he can communicate with us very well.  If one method doesn't work, he'll switch tactics until you understand!  It is amazing!

But with all that said, they both get over stimulated.  Unfortunately, very few people actually get what that means.  They don't understand some of the rules we have, or why they/we don't do this or that.  They see the boys as normal boys, and they pretty much still are.  It isn't the DS that is the problem, I'm thinking it is just the adjustment from the orphanage.  We were given some amazing advice from a couple that were going through their second adoption from the Ukraine.  They told us to grow their world slowly, as in one room at a time, one place at a time and for a limited amount of time.  Since we have no other children, this is the approach we have decided to take.  Their world is growing, but we are growing it slowly.  Sunday school, a couple trips to the store per week and that's about where we are at.  It is very hard on them to go to another place and be there for a while.  Most don't understand or see what is overstimulating about it because the boys don't show any signs of anything being wrong....it all happens over the next day or two, even the next week some times.  The staring off into space, the naughty behaviors, the lack of sleep or restless sleeping or the 4+ hour naps the days following.  Then there is the upset stomach issues, whining, crying, and other actions of acting out that the boys don't experience except after having their little world upset.  They are still trying to figure out why people are paying attention to them...no one has ever done that before and they don't know how to deal with it.  So, we simply ask for patience!  For those who don't understand, please trust that the Lord that took us on this amazing adventure is still in charge of our lives and we are listening to Him, seeking His advise.  As brother ken preached today, It is Rachel and I that will stand before God giving an account of how we raised His children.  Knowing this, we are seeking His guidance, and He has given us some amazing people to help lead us in this endeavor.

Trust us, we know how much everyone just wants to love on these guys...and we are going at the pace that God has set for us.  As it was explained to us, the more the boys can trust us the less the over stimulation happens.  And for that to happen, we need to be their everything right now.  Our little house has to be their world, and the adventures out of their world have to be limited (but with the goal of expansion being worked towards).  These guys still need your prayers, as do we!

I will do my best to get some more pictures put up!  Please, keep the other families in your prayers.  There are many who went before us and are going after us....we all need support of some kind.  Pray, give time, give money, advocate.....I am working on a "Just save one" project for churches and hope to roll that out in the next few months.  Pray, Pray, Pray.....

Thank you to all who helped!

We've been a little busy.....

I know that is no excuse for waiting so long to post. Please forgive us. I'll try to catch up everything and hopefully get some pics and videos up too.

The trip to the Ds clinic went great! Josiah is doing great and they didn't feel the need to send him for any kind of testing or specialists. However, we believe he does have reflux. For now we are just doing some things here at home to try and help, but if it doesn't seem to work we will have him tested. Jackson is doing well too. He does have a small hole in his heart that the doctor is not concerned about at all. Just wants to see him again in a year. This is kind of funny because the info we had was that Jackson was born with a hole in his heart but that it closed by itself, and that Josiah was born with one but that it didn't fix itself so he needed to be seen in a year (which would have been October of 2011). As for Jackson's eyes, well the doctor said that surgery is his only option. He doesn't have a weaker eye, they both see the same, but he just sees out of one of them at a time. The surgery would make his eyes straighten out and would help them start seeing at the same time. We haven't scheduled the surgery yet. We are taking time to pray about it and see if there might be other options.

We have not started any kind of early intervention services yet. We will be in touch with them over the next couple of weeks hopefully, but for now we've just wanted time for everyone to adjust.
We've seen so much growth from both boys in the two months we've been home. Josiah is so strong now. While in his walker he can put all his weight on his legs. He also can sit up now. He cannot sit totally unattended, but before he couldn't even sit straight up with you holding him. He has come so far!! He has also let his personality come out. He jabbers, smiles, laughs, giggles. We LOVE it!! He has also started dancing (which is funny because he does it while laying on the floor). His babbling has started to become more like he's trying to talk, and he's started saying "ahhhh". Whenever Jackson takes a drink at dinner Josiah will look longingly at him and say "ahhhh". He also said it as he watched me eat some Starbursts!! LOL He just knew they tasted good enough to be worthy of an "ahhhh"!!

Jackson is surprising us with how quickly he is not only understanding English but speaking it. He says so many words that I've lost count. Among them are: monkey, kitty, Penny (our dog), momma, daddy, brother, Josiah, Jackson, up, down, two, five, clap, eat, cereal, car, vroom(and he knows this is the noise the car makes), woof (he knows this is the sound the dogs make), and meow (he knows this is the sound the kitty makes). There are many more! He is doing great with his signing too! The other day at dinner he couldn't get his salad on his fork so he said and signed "help"!
As for eating, he eats well. He still eats almost anything, but he has started to get awful picky about eating his fruits. :) He doesn't like apples or peaches, but he'll eat applesauce or peachsauce. So I'll be making some pearsauce too.

Jackson still gets overstimulated easily so we pretty much stay at home and we only attend Sunday school for now. The boys enjoy Sunday school as they get to go into the nursery with Mrs. Debbie, whom they love.

We have had no visitors since Aunt Melinda and Uncle Mike, but we are expecting my parents the end of this week. The boys will be meeting their Grandma Pauline and Grandpa Mike for the first time.

And now for the pictures/videos :) We don't have many as our camera is not working and when Joel gets home from work his phone is dead. :(

This is a cute looking boy! Well, look closer at his feet.

While we were making dinner we kept peeking around the corner at the boys and Josiah would just look at us and smile and giggle. We thought he was being so cute. Then something caught my eye and I went in for a closer look. This is what I found.

 Apparently just enough poo went out the side of his diaper and down his leg for him to smear it all over his feet and the carpet!!! The spot on the carpet was like a foot in diameter!! And the total amount of poo didn't even fill the diaper, it's just the way he was sitting in his walker that made it come out the side. So daddy scrubbed the carpet and momma scrubbed the kid! (okay, daddy helped momma a little!)


These next two are just because the boys are cute!

The above is what happens when Momma is in the kitchen making applesauce and daddy is playing with the boys. He made a "gladiator" hat out of a piece of scrap fabric. All those knots are "spikes"!! Jackson loved the hat thought. We even have a video of him doing the chicken dance in it! As soon as I figure out how to get videos on here I'll post it as well as one of Josiah showing off his skills.

Four weeks

Believe it or not, we've now been home 4 weeks!! (okay so by the time I got to finish this post it's 4.5 ;) ) It feels like we've only been home a couple weeks, but yet Ukraine seems like so long ago, a distant dream.

In that 4 weeks, the boys have both grown and changed so much. I wish I could come in with new eyes and see them only as they are, sometimes when you are there through the growth and the growth comes gradually, you tend to miss some things. Some of the things we are not missing though are the fact that Josiah now has a personality! He smiles and giggles and laughs, especially when big brother is being reprimanded for hitting/throwing/not obeying for the upteenth time :) Josiah is now a pro at eating by a spoon, he even will chew (with his 3 teeth) and we've only just started feeding him this way and we haven't even worked with him on the chewing! That boy watches everyone do everything. He also has started dancing, just like big brother. He watches Jackson so much and tries to be like him. The funny thing is, Jackson will copy Josiah as well! Funny at times, not so funny at others (like chewing on all toys!) Try telling a 3 year old who doesn't fully understand English that it's okay for brother because he's a baby and teething, but not for him because he's old enough to know better. If you figure out how to do that, please email me!! LOL  And praise God, Josiah gained 2 pounds in the first 3 weeks home :)

Jackson is learning and growing also. He is understanding so much of what we say now, it's just getting him to listen and obey!! LOL  We are starting to catch on, though, when he understands and when he doesn't. See, he tries to fool us by staring at us blankly even when he does understand so he doesn't have to do something like pick up toys. Whew! He is definitely a three year old boy :) He is also learning so many new signs and starting to use them appropriately. It sure makes understanding what he needs/wants so much easier. It's also funny to see him make up signs that he doesn't know yet for words he wants to say. There are some we still haven't figured out. Jackson is also saying so many new words. He now says his name :) And peek-a-boo (which happens to be his new favorite game).

Some of my favorite times of day are when the boys are playing together, when we are all dancing around the living room, and when daddy is playing with his boys. I love being a family!

Please keep us in your prayers. Next week we take both boys to the Down syndrome clinic in Nashville and on the same day (a very LONG day) we also take Jackson to the eye doctor also in Nashville (both at Vanderbilt). Also, Joel may be starting a new job next week. That means momma and the boys will be flying solo during the day :) It also means momma can't hand the boys over to daddy when she smells a stinky diaper ;)  

Dying unto one's self....over and over and over again! (by Joel)

I continue to struggle to find time to do everything that I used to have ample time to do!  I was struggling the past couple days, as I've been on the road working!  I kept pushing myself, doing everything I could to get home as quickly as possible....I missed my family!  The stories from Rachel on the growth of the boys, over just a few days, were amazing.  These two little fellas are growing up so quickly, Jackson's personality is becoming more an more apparent and Josiah is continuing to surprise us with what he can do and comprehend.

Something that our pastor has kept saying to us, keeps coming back to my mind tonight.  I think it has finally set in for me, it makes sense now.  He keeps saying that we have been, and will continue to die unto ourselves....and I am finally getting it!  2 Timothy 2:11b states, "if we have died with him, we will also live with him".  A death to our old selves and a life, eternally, with him.  This dying part is now so clear to me!  I used to enjoy the free time I had, the ability to help others whenever they needed it, to work on things at my own pace, to go willy-nilly throughout the day doing as I pleased.  Sleeping in as I felt I needed, staying up late chatting with old friends on facebook, blogging about the craziness of adoption....the list just goes on and on!  But that part of me has been dying lately, my desires have been falling by the wayside (some trying to cling on, necessitating a bit of a shaking or even help from Jackson with a big ole slap to get 'em off).  I was joking with a friend just the other day, how I had wasted so much time before...but doing what, I didn't know!


Now, the crazy part is, I don't miss it at all.  This is a joyous thing, one that doesn't make sense.  One that takes more work and focus, but joyous none the less!  The work comes as I must realize the new role I have as head of this household, supportive husband, provider, and father to two young men who need so much from me and Rachel.  Trying to balance work, household chores, time with the boys (good one on one time, teaching and playing) and also helping out my lovely wife....it is hard work!  Keeping up with a 3 1/2 year old, in and of it's self, is hard work!   I am sure that Jackson has a stash of Red Bull somewhere...and he ain't sharing!  The upkeep on the house is driving me a little nuts too but that is where the focus comes in, I have never had to prioritize so much in my life.  


See, we have been blessed with a tractor to replace the one I had to sell when the whole adoption process started last year.  It started and ran great when I picked it up, but hasn't run since I've got it back to the "ranch".  That is no problem, or at least it wouldn't have been..back in the day!  I love working on anything with a motor and old diesels have my name written on them...but  I now have different priorities.  Just to diagnose the problem took me 4 days, then the help of my brother when he was down (and Jackson, ok..he was in his playpen right beside us working on it)  Then getting the part to fix it took another 4 days, now finding the half a day to fix it....who knows when that will happen!  :)  In the meantime, the yard is starting to take over again and the gravel driveway is turning green.


Dying to self, every day....to be more like Christ!  I have a long way to go, but I am finally starting to see what it means.  Setting aside things of old, focusing, instead, on others (namely, Josiah, Jackson, and Rachel) and trusting God in everything.  For, as verse 12 says, "if we endure, we will reign with Him"  implying that it won't be easy, but most defiantly, worth it!  


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I was reminded as I typed this, that as I prayed on what to start teaching the boys for an occupation, I was lead to prepare them for farming and mechanics!  I think this might be a good start for Jackson!  I also think that saturday might bring about another daddy/son tractor fixin' day :)

Birthday party fun

Okay so this is a little late :)

Saturday we had a first birthday party for Josiah. For this special occasion, Joel's brother Mike and his wife Melinda came down from Michigan to stay the weekend. This was special to Joel and I because Melinda had done so much to fundraise and bring awareness for the boys through this whole process, and Mike of course supported and helped her. Due to Jackson being overstimulated easily we weren't sure how it would go having them stay here, but it went great!! Jackson LOVES his Uncle Mike and Aunt Melinda! He has even asked for her since she left :) When they first got here he was eating so he pretty much ignored them and I thought, uh-oh, this isn't going to go well. But the boy just had his priorities in order! LOL  As soon as he was done eating he went right to them and never left their sides :) The next morning when they woke up and came downstairs, his face lit up and he said "ohhhh", and went right over for some loving. I thank the Lord that they were able to come and get to know these little men they for which they fought so hard to bring home.

The day of the birthday party came and of course I had not gotten anything ready. I keep thinking I'll have more time tomorrow than I do today....hmmmm I'm thinking now that I may be wrong about that ;) So we cleaned and rearranged furniture and Uncle Mike and Aunt Melinda went and got decorations and decorated for us (thank you!!). We just had a small party but it went very well! I am so thankful the Lanes were able to come. Jackson absolutely loves Ellee Lane! And thanks to Uncle Mike who got some video and pictures for us, we witnessed a sweet kiss between Ellee and Jackson that happened behind where the present unwrapping was going so I would have missed it completely. So cute!!! The boys did pretty good. Josiah didn't understand why I'd hand him a toy and then take it away and hand him another so quickly!! LOL He also didn't really appreciate his Bumbo seat, especially when I put the tray on. Jackson had to go off quietly once or twice to get away from the commotion, oh and he stuck his hand in the salsa bowl! But other than that he did great :) He had a great time playing with the other kids there while the adults were watching Josiah open his gifts. All the other kids there were girls....he's a hit with the little ladies already!

We were so blessed by all those who gave gifts to the boys. We even had some dear friends in MI send down a couple of swings for the boys and a whole tote of clothes!! We got clothes and toys that were very much needed. Oh, and diapers :) and a baby tub for Josiah! What blessings!! We cannot thank everyone enough!

The boys were done in by the end of the party. By 6pm they were both asleep, for what we thought was an hour so they could get up and eat, but they were out for the night. They slept till morning! They woke up smiling and refreshed!! So we tried church. That didn't go so well. They did great while there, but the rest of the afternoon was not so good :(

I know ya'll want to see pictures. We didn't get any on our camera so I'll have those who did get some send them to me so I can get them up on here in the next day or two.

Thank you for all your prayers!! We appreciate them very much! 

Brothers

They are not related by blood. They did not play together at the orphanage. They only shared mom twice before gotcha day. But these two little boys are truly brothers!!

As I watched on from around the corner, they lay on the floor playing. Jackson is so good about getting right down to Josiah and just talking to him and giving him toys to play with (sometimes gently, sometimes thrown with precision aim directly to the head!). Today as they lay on the floor together, face to face, Jackson said something to Josiah and Josiah started laughing! LAUGHING!! This is the kid we had to wait for weeks to even get a smile from and even now have to work at getting one. So they lay there laughing together and talking and I am just standing there smiling at how God has blessed us, when out from under the couch (his newly found hiding place) comes Jackson's comb. Oh boy, something kind of hard in Jackson's hand which happened to be kind of close to his brother's head....I just stick in here that we are really working with Jackson on his hitting and throwing because he does both, a lot, and with a fierce intensity...so I am preparing myself to go rescue my youngest from his big brother. Boy am I glad I did not say anything like "be nice" or "don't hit" or "gentle". As I watched on anxiously, Jackson took the comb and gently combed his brother's hair :)

I LOVE THAT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

It melts this Momma's heart as I realize we've only been home, a family, for two weeks and these little guys just know in their hearts that they are brothers, family. Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing!!!!


**For those wondering, yes Jackson does hit, scold, wag his finger, and throw things at his brother....as all good brothers do :) 

Adjusting to family life

We've been home just over a week now. I've got so much I'd like to post on here that this may get kind of unorganized, but I'll just blame it on lack of sleep ;)

First of all, we want to thank everyone who has done so much for us this first week home. And some right before we got home. Not only did a local church have a railing and gate put on our front porch for us, they had their youth do missions work at our house as well. They mowed, weed eated, and washed our house. They tried to pressure wash it but there just wasn't enough pressure from our spring box so they actually scrubbed it themselves!! What an amazing thing to do for people most of them have never met. Then just a couple days ago the pastor from that church and his wife stopped in to see if there was anything else we needed done! As we talked, we stated that what we could use mostly is just help with things around here, just extra hands. So two days later as I was rocking Jackson I got a knock on the door. It was the pastor saying that he had 3 teenage girls to come in and help me with some household chores if that was okay with me. Ummm, of course!!! :)  Their church was having a clothing drive and had more than enough young people show up to volunteer so he thought of us and our needs and brought them over!!! What an amazing blessing. So they helped me clean the kitchen and bathroom, they vacuumed and dusted the house, folded and took care of laundry, and played with the boys while I finally got to unpack the rest of our stuff!!! It was great!!

Our church family has also been bringing us meals every night which has also been a tremendous blessing. I never realized how much the jet lag and time change would affect me and my moods!! Throw in two little boys who don't understand what is happening or most of what you are saying to them, who are also dealing with jet lag and a time change, and wow!

So how are the boys settling in? Well, it's still a work in progress ;)  Quite honestly, I don't remember much at all of those first couple of days. And the next couple after that, well, they were hard. But we expected them to be. The boys world has been turned upside down, we are first time parents to children who have been through things we don't understand or even know about, and we are all figuring out this family thing. What I didn't really expect were some of my reactions. I'm not going to go into personal details, but I will just say that no matter how prepared you are for things to be hard, you can never know what it is like until you've been there. I will also say that I never once thought that we had made a mistake. I know this is the family God created us to be and I know that He is there with me every step of the way. I need only acknowledge Him and lean on Him.
We are just now finally settling into somewhat of a routine. And it has become clear to us that Jackson thrives on routine and doesn't do so well just now with chaos and commotion. So we have decided to limit the amount of visitors, especially children, for a while. This also means that we will be taking the advice of a dear man we met during this process, to keep his world small and to grow it gradually. Right now his world is our house (not even the whole thing), and our front porch. While he does better going out than having people in, it still disturbs him, especially if the attention is on him. What this means is, for now, pretty much staying home unless there are doctor appointments to go to. It also means no play dates for a while so please pray for me as I will, of course, be home bound with the boys. After being in Ukraine for 8 weeks it is very hard for me to not get out and see people that I have missed. We may try church next week to see how he handles that. It would be great if he could, but we are not going to rush it just for our own selfish reasons.
As far as being a big brother, though, Jackson is doing great!! Yes, he throws toys at his brother, often clocking him directly in the head (for not being able to see well, he sure has great aim from across the room!! lol), but he is truly just trying to play with him and give him toys to play with. If Josiah is crying, Jackson will bring him his favorite toy or just come talk to him. He is learning to tickle him and be gentle with him. He will even go up to him and play with him by doing things that I do to Jackson while we play, like pretending to eat his toes :) He also is not afraid to tell him no or to cut it out if he's doing something Jackson thinks he shouldn't be doing!
Jackson is also starting to use more English words. He says brother now, which sounds more like bubba but that's okay :)
We have discovered that:  Jackson loves dogs and cats....Josiah does not! Jackson likes baths...again, Josiah does not! Both boys are happy and smiley when the wake up. And parents don't get nearly enough sleep to keep up with a one year old and a three year old!! So thanks to the wonderful young ladies who helped clean my house, I was able to get a nap in this morning while the boys slept!!

I'm sure there is much more that I am missing, but it is now 9pm which is when my mind turns to mush and I can barely remember my name! LOL

I am posting this now, but soon after will be having Joel add pictures. I apologize for our lack of pictures of late, we've been a little busy ;)

 we even got Niko in one!

first time in the air...well, almost in the air!

car seat...what the heck is that?

This is a rare sleeping moment!

Poor Josiah, passed out!

Josiah with his favorite page of his favorite book!

First time ever feeding w/o a bottle

His bib lies, he does miss a thing!