Thursday, March 10, 2011

Possibly Losing a Child???? a post by a hurting dad

Many now know that something is pushing us to go harder for these little fellas, the fundraising effort has increased, the amount of facebook pleas, and our prayer life has risen to a new level.  Many, until now, do not know the reason for this....I hope this explains it for you!

We received an email Monday asking how the paperwork was coming because of some possible changes in adoption law in the country we are going through.  Well, the good news is our paperwork is submitted to USCIS (although it is estimated at 2.5 months), but then funding came up!  We have raised around $11,000 of the 36,000 or so needed to fully fund the adoption, this amount caused some concern because of a possible shortening of the time frame to get the boys.  We planned on a huge job that fell through that we were planning on funding the majority of adoption with.  During these emails, it was asked if we thought it wise to release on of the boys!!!!!!!!!!!  That's when the horror hit!

Rachel and I had talked about, and prayed about, how our hearts would be if one of the boys was already adopted or if we were only allowed to adopt one....and we were content with whatever God leads us to.  We were not prepared for this, however.  My heart sank.

See, we consider these boys our own, the adoption is just a formality.  We pray for these two little fellas daily and have set their room up, have the toddler shower planned and have many friends and family praying and helping financially.  The thought of losing one of the would be hard, but we would overcome...if that is God's will.

You see, losing one of the boys would be almost like a death of a child to us....hard, but knowing they would be adopted by another family would make it easier...being saved from a mental institution is knowledge that would help us through this.  Many parents lose children, and although hard...they move on in life, getting by day by day until the pain lessens to where they can cope again.  But to choose which child to lose is a different matter.  How can you choose which child, that you already love so much, to not save?  How does one go about that?  Going in their stead is not an option, and while someone else might adopt them....maybe they won't...(they have both been there for 2 or 3 years and no one has yet).

My plea to you is this...PRAY!  If you don't believe in Jesus, pray anyway that He would help us through.  I also ask that you give, give till it hurts.  We wish we had more money, I don't like to ask for help at all...but we need the help and need your money to help these boys get home.  If you can make a donation, please do!  They are tax deductable if you go through our family sponsor page at   We are also looking for someone, or a group of people that could loan us part or all what we need, intrest free for a year.  We will be receiving the adoption credit for these boys which would fully cover the loan ($13,000 each).

Thank you for reading, be a blessing that you were meant to be...

Joel Golden


  1. Hi there, You don't know me, but someone forwarded me your blog on Facebook. I am praying that you are able to get all of your funds to bring these precious boys home! In the meantime, have you considered checking into the following lists of agencies that seem to offer financial help for families trying to adopt? Here's two links:


    If I were adopting, I'd be checking into every one of these to see if they would help fund -- even if it meant sitting at the computer doing paperwork for the next MONTH. :)

    But seriously, I do pray that the Lord brings all the funds together soon.

  2. Joel,

    Try I know that grants don't happen until after you get home, but maybe a bank will help you out if they know the money is coming.

    Also, could you hold a garage sale? We asked for donations for the sale. We raised over $6,000 between 2 garage sales...never selling any of our own things. Everything was donated.

    We were a company's charitable donation for the year. Could you contact some Christian companies to see if they could do the same for you?

    I will be praying for you guys. We sought info on your Caleb. He already had a family, but that family fell through. He was waiting for you! But, he holds a special place in my heart.


  3. We do have some applications out there for grants and loans, we are going through an advocacy group instead of an adoption agency, which disqualifies us for many of the grants and loans out there. Our first yard sale raised $1500, pretty sweet of the Lord. All of the money for the boys has come in just as we needed it. Through prayer, we have not had a call to release one of the boys but to wait it out for a few days. I have been wondering if this is a door closing or a test of faith....

    all this while remembering that if it was a small amount, then what Glory would it bring to God? With such a large amount, only God can send the right person to help these boys....and for that, I praise Him!

  4. IF GOD isn't telling you "let it go" then you stay the course and continue on in faith. God used the I*R*S to help finish funding our first donation. We are working to fund this one, but knowing the final funding is going to have to come from GOD. We can't raise $15,000 in 5 weeks by ourselves. But God can.

  5. I wish I had money to give you, I really do. I wouldnt ask for it back. This is why we are moving to find better jobs so we can give more. I agree with the other poster if God didnt tell you to choose one then dont. Even if He did tell you to choose one, do it then it could be like Abraham. All God wanted was obedience. When we were adopting my husband would say the money will come in the exact amount we need and exactly when we need it. It was still scary going thru it and we did lose our child. She is still in Russia in a horrible orphanage deaf and blind and scared. It was very much like losing a child. We did lose a child. She was ours. We prayed for her, fundraised for her, loved her got updates on her for 5 months she was ours. It hurt. Bad. But one day God turned our mourning into dancing and gave us our son. We were meant to adopt we just went in the wrong direction. But I believe we were meant to know that baby in Russia. No one knows what our prayers have done and continue to do for her. I will pray for you for the money to come. I really want to see both these boys at home with their family.

    Be blessed

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